Why My Two Marriages Failed After My Husband’s Death, By Bishop Odeleke
Bishop Bola Odeleke has carried a huge burden on her shoulders for a considerable number of years: The burden of saving many souls for the Lord, her personal marital controversy notwithstanding. Married to a General in the Nigerian Army, Bishop Odeleke has had to go through various vicissitudes at different stages of her ministry.
She lost her husband, who was a member of the then Provincial Ruling Council during the regime of President Ibrahim Babangida in a motor accident in 1990. That incident soon cast a shadow on her destiny and things never remained the same again. Three years after the death of her husband, she married one Rev. Salau a member of her church. That decision set tongues wagging. Now 61, Bishop Odeleke is committed to a life of evangelism and spreading of the good news. In this interview with Church Times, the Ibadan-born female cleric opens up on the challenges of marital crises that almost compromised her calling, among other controversies.
By the time you started out as an evangelist, it was unthinkable that a woman would be involved in ministry work. How did the whole thing start?
This is one question I have had to answer over and over. But I love to answer it because my calling is unique and I remember very well the circumstances that led me to ministry work. The whole thing started in 1974 when I obeyed the Lord’s instruction to go on dry fasting for three days. Actually, the command to embark on this fasting started in 1971 but I heeded the call in 1974. I was wondering how I would survive without food for three days. It was a great concern for me. But when I started the fasting and praying programme, I saw God move in a way that I never expected. I saw so many revelations and got so many instructions from heaven. Many of what the Lord told me then are still being used in the ministry today.
But the whole idea of mission work was precipitated by an experience on the second day of the three-day fast. It was in the evening. I was sitting down and meditating when I suddenly felt a cooling sensation on my forehead. I thought it was water but when I touched it I discovered it was oil. I began to fidget immediately I discovered oil was on my forehead. The oil was literally oozing from my forehead and I could feel the presence of God. When that happened, I ran to Prophet Timothy Obadare’s church with the hope of sharing my experience with him but I was told he was not around. Another prophet in the church attended to me and tried to calm me down. He said God had already revealed to them that a woman would be raised who would proclaim the word of God. He said the late Ayodele Babalola had already predicted that a woman would be used mightily by God.
So, my going to him was like a confirmation of what God had already said. I told the man all that I had been seeing because in those days it was unthinkable for a woman to mount the pulpit. So, he calmed me down and I went back to continue my praying and fasting. The following day, I was sitting with my first two children and found myself in a trance…
Were there times you were discouraged from doing this work?
There was no discouragement at all because I was sold to the work. There was a time I lost one of my children and still went ahead to preach that same day. I put the baby in the car and drove to the crusade ground and placed the baby there. I carried on with the crusade and God performed a lot of wonders in the lives of people. But in my case He did not touch the dead baby. We had to bring the baby back home to be buried. But even at that I was not discouraged. It is a delight and a privilege to do the work of God. I’m praying that God will restore the kind of spirit we used in the work to the church in this present age. Many preachers today are thinking
of gain rather than service. But then the zeal was all-consuming.
So you were not discouraged?
I was not discouraged at all. But I would say I became discouraged when my husband died and I remarried and people started complaining. And I found out that people were only interested in being blessed through my
ministry but were not interested in my happiness.
How did your husband die?
He was one of the members of the PRC and he was going to their meeting when he allegedly had an accident and died. It happened in Abuja . I had been leaning on him all my life. I saw him as a brother and a friend. When we were young, he used to protect me from men and would warn boys around me to stay off. He was always telling me to face my studies; that I should not allow any of those boys touch me because if they did they would truncate my ambition of becoming a lawyer. I didn’t know he had an agenda to marry me. We later got married. He went to Nigeria Defence Academy while I was preparing to gain admission to the University of Ibadan .
But that was not to be as we got married before the admission came. I leaned on him all my life until his death and there was a big void in my life. I thought getting married would solve the problem but it didn’t. But I became discouraged because people were making all kinds of uncomplimentary statements as if it was wrong for a widow to re-marry.
But we hear that Rev. Salau had already married before he came to you?
The marriage he had was an “arrangee” marriage to get visa in London . The marriage could not be sustained. But I soon discovered that my going to marry him was a wrong choice. I found out that he was just the wrong kind of person. He was stealing from me. He was involved in all kinds of atrocities. It was a shock to me because I thought a choir leader in a ministry would at least live a clean life. I was too trusting. I think that was my undoing.
And then you married Rev. Pius?
I married Rev. Pius because he was a pastor and I thought at least a pastor would be able to complement my ministry. But then I was wrong again. I found out that much of what we have today among some preachers is grammar, shining shoes, big English and glamour. Many are not deep in the word. I used to think a man that goes by the title of reverend will live a modest life. But when I married I saw something different from what they profess. I was carried away by his charisma. I did not know the details about his life. I was only relating with him based on the pulpit. He was in Akure and I was in Lagos . And I thought that marrying him would help complement my ministry work. What I have learnt from that is that emphasis should be placed more on character than charisma. Many new generation pastors are carried away by charisma. But I have come to realise that it is not the gift that matters but the fruit. Anybody can preach and do it very well; but what about the fruit?
But how could you have married a man you did not know very well?
You don’t really know somebody until you live with the person. What you see on the pulpit sometimes could be deceptive.
But how did your ministry fare during all these experiences?
Well, the church broke and many people left. And the media did not help matters. I used to tell journalists that they did not make me and they would not de-make me. My joy is that many of those who left are now coming back. Things are changing and God is taking me somewhere.
But what will you say has kept you in ministry? One would have expected that you have packed it up with all that you have been through?
It is the Holy Spirit. Let your foundation be strong. My foundation is Jesus Christ. I was trained in my dream by God and by experience. That is enough to keep me. And that is what has been keeping me. There are areas that I could have done better though. I was telling somebody that if I knew what I know now in those days, my ministry would have come out better. But I still thank God for where He is taking me and what He has done through me.
On the issue of the men that came to your life after your husband’s death, one would have thought you have learnt your lesson from the first man before making another mistake?
Well, as I said, it was error of judgment on my part. And I have since learnt some lessons. Now I know that if intending couples ask me to pray for them and I see that there are children between them, that should not make me say they should go ahead. One should look at other factors. The man may be able to father a child but may be lacking in character, which is the key in any relationship. But beyond that, marriage is like trading in the dark.
Until you handle and experience what you buy in the dark you may not be able to know what it is made of. Above all, we need more of God’s grace and mercy in the choices we make. All I saw in Pius was the ministry gift not the character. I was looking for somebody who would complement my ministry but he was just the wrong person.
You said earlier that Rev. Salau was stealing from you, how is it possible for your husband to steal from you?
He stole my money and property. He was my husband and he had his signature on my account. This same man would drain my account behind me to give to other women. He used my name to source for funds and took loans from the bank. My son was in England and he was telling me all these. There was a time he took me to the airport while coming to Nigeria from London only for him to take another woman to the bank and got the woman to impersonate me so he could collect loan from the bank. He committed many other atrocities that were unthinkable of somebody who calls himself a servant of God.
So you were just a victim?
Yes, I was a victim of circumstances. But I now know better.
Would you say you have any regret for any of the actions that you have taken so far?
I used to say I regret but God cautioned me. I also used to say I made mistakes and God told me they were not mistakes but experiences. I was the one who told God I needed a man and I got what I wanted. The lesson I have learnt from that is that if I want to ask for anything from God I will ask in a more precise way. My late husband cannot come back again. But what I have been through have toughened me. Now if I have to talk to widows I will tell them never to think of remarriage until they have finished mourning their husbands and that could take several years. The problem I had was that I was looking for somebody like my late husband and couldn’t just find that person.
So what are your plans for the future of your ministry?
The Lord told me that in year 2011 He would bring two generations together. He gave me the story of the prodigal son. The senior brother had always been with the father but he refused to celebrate when his younger
brother came back home. But God is asking me to begin a process whereby both the old and the new generation of believers would come to terms with certain truths. There is a need for the old generation to learn from the
new and the new to tap from the experience of the old. We are doing a lot of mentorship and there are a lot of pastors submitting to me. The Lord said He would bring revival for His body this year. From this year, we are
going to be having crusades again. We are also involved in prison ministry and all kinds of evangelical efforts. I’m coming out strong and prepared for the task of evangelism and church growth.
How did you become a bishop?
It was a council in Britain that made me Bishop. The Archbishop of Canterbury signed my certificate. The group that made me bishop are like the CAN in Nigeria . They go to House of Common in the UK . It was gazetted in the UK in 1999.
source: compassnewspaper.com
