I’ve A Home But No Husband To Make It Complete –Ibinabo Fiberesima
Former beauty queen and actress, Ibinabo Fiberesima, tells ’Nonye Ben-Nwankwo about her experience in the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prisons, Lagos, and sundry issues
About the Miss Earth Beauty Pageant
I’ve been able to sustain the beauty pageant for 11 years. I’ve done so because I’m an environmentalist. The pageant is about the environment. Our environment is becoming worse and people should save mother earth. The pageant is not something that will come and go. It is going to be here for a long time. Even if I don’t do it, some other person can get the franchise when I am tired. It is a sustainable pageant. And it has been making an impact on our environment. A lot of young girls were educated on what the environment is all about. Last year was even better and bigger. We got partners. The queen went for the Miss Earth International Beauty Contest last December. She didn’t do well. Yes, it is about the environment.,but it is still a beauty pageant. We must look at the beauty of the face and that of the body. We have not been able to achieve that in Nigeria for awhile. The judges I get are usually environmentalists. I have not really thought of getting fashionistas, fashion police, and beauty people to come in. I hope to do that this year. I don’t have any impact on who becomes the eventual winner. People have tried many times to take the franchise away from me, especially when I had the unfortunate accident. They wrote all kinds of things about me to the organisers of the international pageant. But thank God, I have been to the Philippines so many times and they know who I am. I still own my franchise. It will remain mine for awhile.
My acting career
How can I leave film acting? I intend to contest the president of the Actors Guild of Nigeria in the forthcoming election. I am about to shoot a movie soon. But it will not be for entertainment. It has to have a message. You must learn something from the kind of movies I do. I started by writing the scripts from my own experiences. I have become a better person, ever since.
Why I am involved in AGN politics
I was the chairman of a state chapter of the association. But, at the state level, you really don’t exist. It is all about the national president and his people. The state chapters ought to blossom as well. You need to see the talents we have in this country. I know I can reach out to everybody. I am doing that, even as I am not yet the president. I was chairman of all chairmen and I was able to meet people from different zones. There is so much we need to do in the AGN. We are too selfish. Some people come into the AGN in order to enrich themselves. It should not be like that. I am praying that selfless people will come in. I don’t think there is anything that will hinder me from getting my aim as the AGN president. Even the fact that I am not based in Lagos will not be an obstacle. We are having a national election. All the state chapters must participate in the election. Do they just come and vote for whoever they want and return to their chapters? When I become president, it will not be like that again. As a head, you should make an impact. We should show appreciation to others. I went to Damaturu the other day. You should see how happily the people welcomed me. They were thrilled, just by seeing me in person. It was so beautiful, even with all the bombings going on, that they still found time to come and receive me. We need to do more work. I pray the electoral board allows a free and fair election; they would be surprised what will happen if it is not free and fair. I have plans for the guild. I have plans for insurance. We will have an interstate cultural competition so that the state chapters can also be active. The AGN has gone down and I know I can lift it up.
Life in Kirikiri Maximum Security Prisons
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I give thanks to God. People say I don’t look like somebody who has been incarcerated for awhile. I am healed. Something took over me when I was in Kirikiri prisons. In my sleep, I still have the urge to pray. When I am in that mood, I will just jump up and start praying. It has healed me. I am no longer afraid. I used to be quite scared. I just had a baby then, I couldn’t carry her. Anytime I carried her, my body would be shaking. But all that is gone now. I was in Kirikiri for over two months or thereabout. It was like a girl’s hostel. I thank God that I had the experience. I am not saying that I am grateful to God because the accident happened. God forbid! But that experience has made me a new person. I think I now appreciate people and I appreciate life better. I wasn’t treated any differently in Kirikiri because I was a star. In fact, the prisoners thought I was going to be arrogant. Some of them were ready for me, but when I came, their attitude changed. They called me ‘General.’ They said they never knew I could be this nice. Maybe because of the kind of person I am, I adapted. It was a hard life. The prison is not anywhere you would wish anybody you know to go to. Anybody that goes in there and comes out and doesn’t change, then the person is sick upstairs. They person needs help, they are not human.
Coping in jail
During the first week, I couldn’t cope with living in prison. I broke down completely. I thought I was going to die. But slowly, when you meet people who have been there many years before you, the condemned prisoners, you would be okay. I came out and I had to set up a foundation. Now I work with prisoners and I go to minister in prisons. The first day I got to the prison gate, my legs were shaking. I burst out crying. I went with a pastor who told me to be strong. I got in and you need to see the way the prisoners rushed out to hug me. The day I left, I cried. I knew I was going to miss them. I had formed a bond with some of them. Some of them had pathetic stories. They shouldn’t be where they are. I started writing stories about it.
Stigma
I don’t feel stigmatised, having been to the prison and back. I am not a criminal. I didn’t steal; I didn’t set out to kill anybody. It was an accident, a very unfortunate one at that. I wished it never happened. Every day, I pray for the family. It is not easy. I pray God will heal them. As much as some of my friends abandoned me during that time, some people stood by me. They believed me and knew who I was. I have more friends now than before. But this time, I have true friends. I came out a new person. If I had done a bad thing, my conscience would have killed me. All the things they said about me throwing parties and drinking after the accident, they were all lies. They said I was gallivanting. But that was a lie. I couldn’t even come out of my room! I was reading a lot of lies about me on the internet. It got to a point where I was asked not to read again because I was going through depression. I was dying.
My children
I have five children. When it is time to pay school fees, my heart faints. But it has been well. When I was incarcerated, my friends paid for my children’s school fees. Even when I came out, I got a lot of support from my state government. A lot of people have tried for me.
My marriage
If I could, I would have just found a man and told him to come and marry me. But it is not my power. Do you know how many times I have fixed a wedding date? I even told Sunny Neji to compose theme songs for the wedding. If you bring the man, I will marry. It is my will and hope to get married. I want a family. I have a family but I want a man to complete it. I am not going to buy him. I know God will give me a man. I don’t have any regret where marriage is concerned. I have done everything with an open heart. I don’t know what went wrong. My children’s fathers are still my friends. They, too, wonder how I manage to cope. They tell me I am nice. Now that I am very independent, I don’t want any man that will come and give me headache. That is the problem. Maybe I will get married to an elderly man, a divorcee or a widower. Someone who is relaxed and not domineering. Somebody I can respect. If I see that kind of man, I will love to get married.
My relationship with Fred Amata
I thought I would marry Fred. I didn’t snatch him from anybody. When I met Fred, he was single. He was separated from his wife four years before I met him. My daughter is Fred’s carbon copy, so I see him every day. It is only natural for me to love Fred and I love him. He is my friend and brother and my baby’s father. But life has to continue.
Pyramids Night Club
The nightclub is dead. I have never thought of reviving it. I am not that kind of a person any more. I don’t even go out again. I don’t have that excitement again. I was an ex-beauty queen. But I was running my club before I became an actress. Some people came to shoot a movie in my club. There was a role for somebody to sing and nobody wanted to do that. I told them to give me the microphone let me sing. My friend, Regina Askia, was there. She said, ‘Ah, girl, you can act o.’ And that was how it started. The next role came and I acted with her. It was very easy because she was my friend. That was how I started. It didn’t have anything to do with being a beauty queen.
My vision
I hope to do a lot of things, but they are in God’s hands. Everything is in His hands because I have a lot to offer.
source: punchng
